I so badly do. I need the second chance that i worked hard for, that i deserved. I know i shouldn’t feel bad about it but it constantly bogs me down and i’m sick and tired of people judging me for my past mistakes and setbacks.

I’ll emerge stronger and i’d show the world that this’s not the end of me.

—————————————————————————————————————————————-


=============================================================================

And finally this, most relatable ever:

Goodnight, sleep tight. Will post soon.

Hey, world.

(The first part of this post’s been drafted for a super long time and i guess imma post it now..)

We’re about to enter senior high. It’s kinda scary, how time passes like this. How we all entered as a cohort and grew up together. I must say junior high was never easy for me, despite many people thinking so. Often misunderstood, it was never easy for me to break out of the vicious self fulfilling prophecy that I’d never really do well. But honestly, i only had myself to blame. Throughout so many years, i’ve always done either badly/mediocre and i’d always promise (so-called) myself and others that i’d really “put in effort the next time”, when in fact i didn’t.

So i guess the debt from the 4 years that i had wasted away was too much for me when it all came crashing down on me, 4 months before eoy ended. Which was quite a sad thing, really, given that i gave in my all this eoy and ended up with some shitty results. But i guess because of all these setbacks i’d emerge stronger and i’d know what not to do in future.

I just don’t wanna be a disappointment to my parents, my friends and myself anymore.

—————————————————————————————————————————————-

So yup, this holiday’s been really great cuz i feel that (well, almost) every moment spent was meaningful in one way or another.. It’s been a reaaaaaaaaaaaaally long holiday and looking through my organiser, i’ve been rather busy hahahaha 🙂

November | RWS Interview, HCL ‘O’ Levels, SCO Concert Pfmance, YEP Comm Outing, Choir Chalet, World Orchid Conference @ MBS, Choir Practice, Family Day, Studying, Coaching, D’MVMT Auditions, Visiting Camps 🙂

December | More Coaching, Subj Combi Released, Shouyi & Szewing’s Farewell Dinner, Caroling practice, Fix camera, Studying, Marche w/ family, Visiting Camp, M’sia trip, Jiaying’s house, Caroling Prac, Dinz with 2G babes, GOT MY LONG AWAITED IPHONE, Fam gathering, Caroling @ Sentosa  🙂

Woah, lol, just typing it out made me realised how jam-packed this holiday hehe. Shall blast out all details here since i haven’t been updating for sucha long time oops. ^_^ Okay so, initially i’d already been selected for the Resort World Sentosa work attachment and all the hype was there + the pay was a awesome $7/h rate, but i was forbidden to start the work attachment cuz the commitment date was too long and the Y5 level head disallowed due to my bad results lol. But i guess it came out as a good thing cuz i had so much more time to do other stuffs 🙂 Anyway, HCL ‘O’s was manageable, i guess. Zuowen and gonghan came out to be more fluent than paper 2, praying that my A1/A2 will still be in the bag..
Voilaaaaaaaaaa!
Choir Chalettttttttttttt ^_^ Pictures speak a thousand words, right? Hehe.

It was really fun to the ultimatum hehe 🙂 Plus it was so near with a straight bus home for me so it was really really convenient! Games and all were cute lah hahaha 🙂


Okay next up for photo spam is.. *drumroll*..
COACHINGGGGGGGGG (@ AKLTG)

Really thoroughly enjoyed myself at this camp 🙂 And it was also my last camp as an Assistant Coach!! -hyperventilates- Hahahah. Coached a recourse group of 13 people with Julian and it was really a great experience, plus this coaching team was really really tight knit 🙂 OH HOW I MISSED COACHINGGG :>

Okay so in the midst of coaching, i took a few hours off to DMVMT Auditions and messed it up entirely -sighs- But i guess it was an experience? 🙂 Plus i kinda really like hiphop now, maybe i’d go Danzpeople/Oschool someday hehehe!

Visited the first senior camp few days after that and went out with Isaac after that to Vivo boardwalk haha 🙂

And guess what!
MY PARENTS ALLOWED ME TO DO ANOTHER CAMP FOR THE SEASON! -JOYYYYYYYYYYYYYYYY- Plus this camp’d be my OJT camp alrdy, so yep i took a group by myself 🙂 Only have one shot with me now, will update when i get the rest hehe!

Taking a group on my own was tough but extremely fulfilling and it really made me improve myself in many ways 🙂 And i passed OJT! Heheheheheh -grins- I guess one really memorable thing from camp would be the thing on Nathan (my participant). Before it, i had quite a few hiccups here and there in doing my best to communicate and help him. It was really vexing when he was upset and everything but on grad night he came to me w tear filled eyes and hugged me saying “thanks coach nicole, thanks so much…… i held both my parents’ hands for the first time..” It touched me to tears, literally. :’)


Subj Combinations were released and i got my first choice (H1 Bio + H2 Geog, Econs, Maths) haha. Quite worried for H2 Maths cuz my maths is really quite cui :/ But i’d put in effort like how i did it during this year’s EOYs 🙂 It’s never too late, ain’t it? 🙂

Mmmm next main event would be caroling practices @ NYJC haha 🙂 It’s really different i guess, much more relaxing and fun haha. And all the singers there are really great 🙂 Will post on caroling in the next few days 🙂

Anyway my camera was spoilt for awhile so i had to send to repair -sadface- in which Shouyi and Szewing’s farewell dinner @ Parkway Fish & Co. followed 🙂 Saw Ruizheng in the kitchen and apparently he cooked bryan’s pasta dish HAHA! Group photos at the bottom 🙂 The Y5s did some really awesomely funny gift for Shouyi, hand painted shirt w abs and armpit hair HAHAHAHAAH.


Went to M’sia with family for 3-4 days but i’ve got no picts cuz my DSLR was still servicing!! 😦 But it was quite fun nevertheless. Da gu was quite mean to my sis though 😡 Don’t know why sigh.

Shortly after we (winne, reena, me) had a gathering at Jiaying’s house to just slack, play wii and laze around haha! Reena and winne were like mad women playing the wii boxing 😀 It was quite nice hehehehe 🙂 BUT SUPAH FAR LAH LOL.


Dinz with 2G babes @ Astons at T1!! It’d been a really long time since we’ve met up and it was really nice just meeting and catching up over dinner and sitting at the viewing gallery to talk ❤

Hehe 🙂 This is sucha long post omigosh. But okay i’m about to hyperventilate here cuz i’m mentioning that i got my long awaited new iphone ^____________________________^ Wooooooohooooo ❤ So pretty and awesome and everyth HAHAHAAHAH. Okay shall stop 😡

Had a christmas gathering w fam before cousins flew off to europe, LUCKY THEM! Haha. Edwin’s especially lucky cuz he got to go USA (inclusive of Disney World and Universal Studios with had the HARRY POTTER THEME PARK thing -jealous ttm!!!!!!-) then come M’sia w us and now he’s in Europe -__________________- LUCKYBOII95 PLEASE. Hahahaha.

Okay shall end this post. Hehe finally right. :B Next post’ll be on Caroling and days at Sentosa!! 🙂


Till next time folks! Merry belated christmas!! Hope y’all all had a memorable holiday season heheheeh 🙂

Gah HCL ‘O’s tomorrow. To be honest, i’m horrified terrified and absolutely nervous /:
Cuz i really don’t know what to expecttt.
NERVOUS BREAKDOWNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN #hyperventilates

Whatever it takes, i’m not going to screw this one up. HCL’s been one of my stronger and more stable subjects and i really thank god for my relatively better capacity and grasp for languages. Reaaaaaally really crossing fingers and i’d do my best to not let anyone, including myself, down.

And i guess i really have to live by my current favourite quote:

All the failures and everyth i’ve gotten this year didn’t kill me 😉 I’ve been through hardwork and setbacks and okay honestly, i didn’t study my guts out for HCL this time but i’ve been putting in constant effort throughout the year, especially cause i have HCL tuition.. Speaking of which, i’m really gonna miss HCL tuition on Sundays 😦 Shall go back and visit when i’m free haha since my sis’s still gonna be there 🙂

The heart is stronger than you think
It's like it can go through anything
And even when you think it can't it finds a way to still push on
Sometimes you want to run away
Ain't got the patience for the pain
And if you don't believe it look into your heart the beat goes on

I'm tellin' you that
Things get better
Through whatever
If you fall, dust it off, don't let up

Don't you know you can go be your own miracle
You need to know

If the mind keeps thinking you've had enough
But the heart keeps telling you don't give up
Who are we to be questioning, wondering what is what
Don't give up
Through it all, just stand up!

I’ll be alright. JIAYOU ALL, YEAR 4 DHS AND SEC 4S ALL AROUND SG 🙂 🙂 🙂
Bye, #muggermode!!! TILL NEXT TIMEEEEEEE.

Cupcakecupcakecupcakecupcakes!!

Hehe had a nice baking session on Sat hehe 🙂 Was gonna bake before Deon came to teach maths but he wanted to join in so yup! Met at simei to buy the supplies and HAHAHAHA his feet couldn’t touch the ground when we were sitting down waiting for the bus cuz it was too short.. Okay i shouldn’t suan la heh 8) Anyway it was kind of my first time baking some pretty cupcakes with icings and stuff hehe. But i gotta admit without my mom or deon it’d have been a complete mess HAHA, spilt cookies all over in the first place -whoops!- Went to this super awesome place for dinner @ raffles city!! It’s called potato depot haha quite special and yummy 😀

Hadn’t been on the com for the past two days 🙂 It’s kinda fulfilling though, having an off-com therapy. Hahaha 🙂 Wednesday was a total no-text-no-call (besides one from my mom and sis) day. Was kinda shocking hahah but i felt kind accomplised i guess? O: Oh and i saw Clara and RZ @ Parkway on that day too 🙂 Nice seeing them happy hehe. Went to run with choir for PT on friday, felt really good and satisfying to jog and exercise after a relatively long time teehee. Going back to choir made me smile and realise that i really do love that place, regardless of the reasons i wanted to leave. So i guess i’d just have to see how the D’MVMT auditions go. I may not get in anyway haha 🙂

Baby you light up my world like nobody else,
The way that you flip your hair gets me overwhelmed.

Went to Bugis St w fam today, gotta go back there sometime to get some stuff i saw whilst walking!! Couldn’t have stopped to shop cuz grandparents were there and it was sooooo crowded anyway 😦 Hahaha. And well, kinda had an empty feeling inside cuz Bugis always reminded me of.. someone. Whom i didn’t wanna be reminded of. But whatever it is i guess not being close will be the best for both of us cuz nothing would have come outta it anyway. Okay nicole you can stop thinking about it now!!!!

Kay i’ve gotta go study HCL now. Really grateful for Lian Lao Shi though, he’s been giving loads of awesome articles and worksheets and stuff. I’ve gotta take this chance to prove myself to everyone, including myself. It’d be the last and only chance in this rotten year.

Toodles! Till next time 🙂